Something a little different
So here it is, the scoop lol. All this time i thought as a blog of a way to release a bunch of anger that I got going on. I want to try to make this one a happy blog. I can't promise anythign cause I still think about how shitty things are. But really not everything in my life sucks. I just focus on it too much. I hope you enjoy this because hopefully there will be more of the same.
I'm in love. Some people say that they have found love and in months just throw it all away for some stupid reason, that probably wasn't worth it in the first place. I'm glad that I have found someone who I get along with so well. We have our times in which we are really quiet, it seems so overwhelming some times. I really wish that I spent more time with her before we dated, we never really hung-out that much. It really sucks because I missed so much of her life, that It took me 3 months to catch up.
I still don't know a lot about her past, and it kinda worries me a little bit. We have been taking things very slow with our relationship, I feel really bad that we jumped in so fast, I wasn't ready to make the leap at first, I was gonna take things slower with her, But there was just no way that i could have let the opportunity slide. We hung out a couple times after people had left the house, in November and begining of December. At the time we really wouldn't talk that much, It sucks when two people are really shy it's hard to make conversation cause not a lot of words are spoken.
Anyway though, on December 2nd Bailey, Gills closest friend for those of you who don't know her, She came up to me in the afternoon and asked me what I thought about Gill, I told her that she's an amazing person and that I have not met anyone who was like her, no one can compete. She is funny, smart, beautiful, really down to earth. She makes me smile with every word that she sais, most of the time I'm just smiling because she is so beautiful. There's times when I hear her talk to her friends, and I think why can't she have this conversation with me, I know that we don't have a very long past but I still know a lot about her. I wish that we could make more conversation about the future instead of the past so much.
Do we even have a future? Thats a pretty stupid question but seriously. We haven't made much progress in our relationship, for the last 3 months I feel like we are still in the same spot only a little different circumstances. When Bailey came up to me that day, she told me that Gill really liked me and that I should ask her out. I knew then and there that I was totally in love with her, I barely knew her but it felt so right, from that day on we clicked, everything felt so amazing everything was perfect, We struggle day in day out for this relationship to work, I would not waste my time if it wasn't for a good cause, and let me tell you she is worth every moment.
There's times when things look like there not gonna be ok, If you read my last post you will know when these times are. I feel really bad for what I do to her, all I want is for her to be happy, but when I am stoned I get a split personality in which I know she hates. I really wish that this wouldn't happen. I really don't know why that it does. From here on out I am making a vow to myself, never to touch another drug again. I know you all are thinking yea that's what he said last time, But this time is different there is a lot more at stake for me now than there was before. Now that I have something to lose, I don't feel the need to go throw my life away for a good time.
From this day on, Monday March 31 2008, I plan to be drug free. Because while I'm on drugs, I'm not the same person, and it scares me. Yea that's right you heard me say I was afraid of something! I'm not ashamed to admit it. All I ask from you people is to help support me. I don't want you to criticize me for it because I am sick of who I have become and it's time to change things. Take a stand now is the time. Anyway I am going to stop babbling here cause I got nothing else to say, and this is already going to be the biggest post to this day, I appreciate you all reading this whoever you are. Many more to come I hope. Peace
I'm in love. Some people say that they have found love and in months just throw it all away for some stupid reason, that probably wasn't worth it in the first place. I'm glad that I have found someone who I get along with so well. We have our times in which we are really quiet, it seems so overwhelming some times. I really wish that I spent more time with her before we dated, we never really hung-out that much. It really sucks because I missed so much of her life, that It took me 3 months to catch up.
I still don't know a lot about her past, and it kinda worries me a little bit. We have been taking things very slow with our relationship, I feel really bad that we jumped in so fast, I wasn't ready to make the leap at first, I was gonna take things slower with her, But there was just no way that i could have let the opportunity slide. We hung out a couple times after people had left the house, in November and begining of December. At the time we really wouldn't talk that much, It sucks when two people are really shy it's hard to make conversation cause not a lot of words are spoken.
Anyway though, on December 2nd Bailey, Gills closest friend for those of you who don't know her, She came up to me in the afternoon and asked me what I thought about Gill, I told her that she's an amazing person and that I have not met anyone who was like her, no one can compete. She is funny, smart, beautiful, really down to earth. She makes me smile with every word that she sais, most of the time I'm just smiling because she is so beautiful. There's times when I hear her talk to her friends, and I think why can't she have this conversation with me, I know that we don't have a very long past but I still know a lot about her. I wish that we could make more conversation about the future instead of the past so much.
Do we even have a future? Thats a pretty stupid question but seriously. We haven't made much progress in our relationship, for the last 3 months I feel like we are still in the same spot only a little different circumstances. When Bailey came up to me that day, she told me that Gill really liked me and that I should ask her out. I knew then and there that I was totally in love with her, I barely knew her but it felt so right, from that day on we clicked, everything felt so amazing everything was perfect, We struggle day in day out for this relationship to work, I would not waste my time if it wasn't for a good cause, and let me tell you she is worth every moment.
There's times when things look like there not gonna be ok, If you read my last post you will know when these times are. I feel really bad for what I do to her, all I want is for her to be happy, but when I am stoned I get a split personality in which I know she hates. I really wish that this wouldn't happen. I really don't know why that it does. From here on out I am making a vow to myself, never to touch another drug again. I know you all are thinking yea that's what he said last time, But this time is different there is a lot more at stake for me now than there was before. Now that I have something to lose, I don't feel the need to go throw my life away for a good time.
From this day on, Monday March 31 2008, I plan to be drug free. Because while I'm on drugs, I'm not the same person, and it scares me. Yea that's right you heard me say I was afraid of something! I'm not ashamed to admit it. All I ask from you people is to help support me. I don't want you to criticize me for it because I am sick of who I have become and it's time to change things. Take a stand now is the time. Anyway I am going to stop babbling here cause I got nothing else to say, and this is already going to be the biggest post to this day, I appreciate you all reading this whoever you are. Many more to come I hope. Peace
posted by Adam Parkin at
4:53 PM
1 Comments:
Baby, I don't know what to say. There's so much I want to say but I wanna sum it up in a few words. I'll try my best.
You are my whole world, I care about you being happy so much, cuz I DO love you. Very much. And I know that we're meant to be. It's fate. I can feel it. I've never totally cared for someone more than myself and it's a crazy feeling. Being with you has been intense....although sometimes rough, it all rounds out to being a good experience so far in the end.
I'm rambling too much, I could ramble alot more but I'll quit.
I love you baby, I'm yours always and forever muffin.
<3 <3 <3 <3.
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